The word fear came up in my journal today. Just in time for Halloween! Why do we fear some changes and relish others?
Fear creeps in when our identity is at risk. When there is something new (a change in environment, behavior or people) it can be perceived as a threat. Our primitive brain is wired to be fearful of the unknown, its a skill for survival. We may fear the loss of what we know or that we will regret the change. By staying in fear, we cling to the past and we get stuck. Once we realize that fear is really a false sense of danger called up by our subconscious as a means of protection, we can begin to overcome. Emotions happen at the subconscious level which has 95% control of our actions. If you want to change an emotion or behavior, the fastest way is via the subconscious mind. Its why hypnosis works so well!
How do we get around fear and make the changes we desire? Listen to the voices ;-)
Since it is Halloween, picture a huge haunted house on a hill. That big, creepy, broken down and neglected Victorian pictured in movies. The one the neighborhood kids dare each other to go inside to see if the ghost of the old lady will torture whoever enters. Its the classic Halloween set up: There is misty darkness hanging around, its Halloween, and a cluster of kids wiggle nervously at the entry gate. Each one of them has their own personality and they are hanging around the front yard, prodding each other to take the first step. The Adventurous kid inspires them to step forward, eager to see what is behind all the hype. The Excited soul is in lockstep while the Anxious one builds up all kinds of crazy outcomes in his mind. The Brave child keeps everyone moving while Mr. Cautious brings a flashlight and leaves a note at the gate, just in case. There is one who lags out by the gate. That is the Cowardly kid who is not sure of herself or her abilities. She stands there kicking the dirt with her tennis shoe, highly anxious. She finally caves in and runs up to join the group, thinking its better to be with all the rest than out there, in the dark, on her own.
The great thing about the group of personalities is that they support each other. They each have a role in this scary challenge and as a collective, they build a formidable team. If one of the kids gets a louder voice, a stronger foothold in the group brain, it can upset the balance and skew the outcome. It's important for all of the personalities and voices to play a part without overshadowing the others. If Cowardly starts pitching a fit, the group can stop and talk to her, get her back in line, so they can overcome the fear and achieve the goal.
As they go deeper and deeper into the house, it turns out that there is nothing but a ton of cobwebs and mothballs where the drama of a hooded skeleton with a scythe once brewed. Funny how we build the unknown into such a huge, ominous monster in our mind. When we can work with our inner voices and enlist them to help with the goal, the outcome is easier than imagined. If you feel fearful and stuck, start talking to your inner voices, employ the right balance of your strengths to help you take the first step.
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."- Franklin D. Roosevelt